i don’t want to get married, but yet some how every time i attend/take photos at a wedding…i fall in love.

just a few days ago i sat on the couch of some friends and watched as a fake wedding ceremony played out in the movie we were watching. “hmm.” i thought to myself, “something about this seems sooo awkward…”

i’ve been stirring up quite the interesting reputation for myself these past few months. you see, it wasn’t that long ago that i started declaring i figured out the hidden truth behind getting married that no one ever tells you. do you want to know the secret? when you get married – you get pregnant! now, i know what you’re thinking, i’ve heard every single argument and come back and comment of confusion in return to this statement. but this is a theory i’ve been testing out (not personally, but in carefully observing all my new found married friends within the past year) and the results have all come back the same – you get married. you get pregnant.

of course this revelation also came with a new self realization – i absolutely, most definitely, with all my hopes held high, do not want to get married. (at least not for many, many years to come). i’m very determined and serious when i speak of this, yet some how every one else thinks they know what is best for me – and what is “best” for me doesn’t appear to be what i personally believe.

anyways.

now that i have negative feedback and thoughts already accumulating from this recent deceleration, you would think that i would keep my thoughts to myself about all things concerning love and relationships. however, on that one particular evening while watching the movie, this wasn’t the case.

i sat on that couch, staring at the nervous looking young woman slowly treading down a white aisle with hands awkwardly placed in front of her abdomen. everything about it screamed “UNNATURAL!” it appeared so odd to me that a crowd of people would silently stare at a person walking down an aisle, and then continue to watch from a close distance as two people nervously stood at the center of attention saying weird sentences to each other not quite loud enough for others to hear. words like “tradition” and “ceremony” were popping into my head as i continued to watch the movie, and i realized these are all words that don’t necessarily fit into my personality interests. from my lips i heard myself exclaim out loud “WOW. weddings are SO AWKWARD.” out of the corner of my eyes i noticed the heads of the others in the room were turning in my direction, and i felt their eyes on me. so, obviously, i went into explanation of where that thought came from.

i decided that a wedding ceremony is simply just something i do not want to do. attending weddings are one thing, photographing them are a completely different thing as well. but being the bride at a ceremony – the center of a very forced, uncomfortable, unnatural attention – just doesn’t seem like a “fun” activity. i made the decision that when i get married (many, many years from now), i will NOT have a ceremony. the reception will be the main event, and perhaps half way through we will turn the music to a whisper and make the announcement that the groom and myself are signing the legal documents. from there, the party will resume.

every time i attend a wedding, i fall in love. not with a cute groomsmen or the long lost cousin sitting in the back row, but with the idea of love. i fall in love with the way god loves me. i fall in love with his creation of relationship. i may not want to get married, and i may have some very skewed ideas about the ceremony in particular, but one thing remains – i totally, completely, truly adore weddings.

if only these photos
held words and melodies big enough
to captivate your heart
by the beauty of these souls…

(some extra photos from “a boettcherland new years” 2010)

well WHAT THE HECK happened. that would be the sentence floating in my thoughts if i was an outsider looking at this blog….an entire cold&wintery month has blown past us and not one moment was used to write a blog. all of this due to the fact that my apartment has not had internet, and the wireless i used to steal from the neighbors secured a password over their network during the holiday break. but my sister and i finally gave in to the twenty first century and got ourselves hooked up with our OWN wireless. “ta-da!” i must say though, after going so long without internet, i have forgotten what used to consume so much of my time on this computer!

christmas was beautiful.

my parents den (shown in photo above) is where i spent most of my break cuddled up next to the fire underneath cozy blankets. it’s hard to remember why i moved away in the first place when my mother began making it routine to wake me up with lattes in the morning while i was home! much like christmas eve, christmas day was very out of the ordinary. waking up late, the morning fell into late afternoon and my mother, my sister, and my grandmother spent the entire day around the breakfast bar drinking coffee and listening as my mother read aloud old letters that were found; a pen pal relationship had been formed by my great grandmother and a family in germany during world war II, and us girls wiped away buckets of tears all morning as we learned about the war first hand from a family suffering inside of it. the stories were straight from a movie scene or an old thick book…it was very surreal.

after crying away christmas day, we eventually were able to pick up my other sister from the airport late in the evening. i think i learned more about humanity, selflessness, and love on that day alone by reading those letters than in my entire lifetime. it was a different christmas…it was good.

2010 finally rolled in upon us, and i have to admit it was quite the joyous celebration. never have i seen more people inside of my parents house. from wall to wall, in every room, there were people sitting, standing, laughing, and talking EVERYwhere! but by the time midnight actually came, the crowd had thinned out, and the remaining few gathered around to watch the ball drop and the onething conference happening at ihop. at one point, we had both the ball drop and onething showing at the same time – one on the computer, the other on our tv!

leaving marquette this time around was by far one of the hardest things i have ever done. it was the first time i have left home as an adult, not knowing when the next time would be when i would return home. moving away from home permanently is tough stuff. growing up is weird, and there are honest moments when i hate it – flying back to redding after the holidays was one of those honest moments, and i cried the entire day of travel back. marquette is one town filled with so much beauty it makes me wonder how god possibly saved any beauty for the rest of the world. the scenery, the people, the culture (or lack there of). it’s so special to me.

but now that i am very much settled back into my home in redding, life is good. and that is an extreme understatement. the rain has caused me to pretty much sleep through the entire month of january, but with february upon us i have managed to see a few days of sun and my spirit has come alive again. i preached for the first time in school, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. i’m excited about this new year, there is so much in store. and now that i have internet, there will be many more blogs to fill the days of twentyten. love, love, love.

christmas eve is upon us now, but this year has been much UNlike the rest. i’ve been pondering all day just why it doesn’t feel like christmas, and an array of possibilities have come to mind. perhaps it is because we are missing a very significant link – melissa, who doesn’t fly in until tomorrow night. perhaps it is because melissa and i have been celebrating christmas since the first of december (complete with stockings, presents, loads of holiday tunes, even a christmas eve celebration of our own with milkshakes and movies). perhaps it is due to our new family den where our larger than life christmas tree now resides next to the fireplace, as opposed to the normal spot in the main living room of the house. perhaps it is because i took a three hour nap in the evening. perhaps it is because we chose to watch the movie “the proposal” instead of a holiday flick. perhaps. perhaps. perhaps.

thanks to my parents new computer, however, “boettcherland” now accesses a skype account. and it goes without mention that since there is a skype account setup on this computer, that means there is a webcam, and where there is a webcam…there are loads of photos taken in times of boredom.

(thank you “avatar” for supplying these 3D glasses for my newfound style)

(for a brief moment in the night, we sported santa caps)

but the award of the evening goes to the video chats that were had with two of our favorite families.

#1: the singleton family truly provided christmas eve entertainment, as they put on an impromptu christmas program for us to watch, complete with caroling, scriptural reading, and even a lighting of candles…in the dark!

#2: the amberson tribe provided us with buckets of laughter, probably due to the special appearance of our missing boettcher link, melissa, as she spent the evening at their house since she can’t be in michigan. melissa and josh put on quite the show, as usual, and a good time was had by all.

well, despite the unusual turn of events…
“merry christmas to all, and to all….a goodnight!”

the boettcher family isn’t one that is usually looked at and considered traditional. i would like to think we are rather “hip” or dare i say “with it.” our music stays rather trendy, if i do say so myself, and thanks to relevant magazine our library of books is ever expanding. thanks to my mothers previous job at a department store and our natural love to shop (not to mention me and my sisters tendencies of not caring what other people think about what we wear), our styles have remained…should i say…”fresh.” i do believe our habits are currently being transformed. but upon closer look, you will see that the occasional tradition has slipped in without mention.

living away from home for the past few years, it has come to my attention that there are many things of which stir up my nostalgia for marquette, my parents log cabin, and family in general. and these certain things made me realize something – our family has done special things that have created sweet memories inside all of us (or enough of us) to cause us to recreate it the following year. and as time goes by, these memories have created a pattern, always showing up within the holiday season without spoken mention of it becoming a tradition.

peppermint milkshakes are an all time favorite by every member of our tribe. before my brother-in-law’s entering (and the two little nephews on the way), there was the classic “peppermint milkshake incident of ‘07″ when not all of the plastic wrapping made it off of the candy canes before being thrown into the blender. ah yes, this memory creates a good chuckle every single christmas. our christmas tree has always been real, causing for it to be – always real. upon any mentioning of the idea of buying a fake one, there is always an instant rebuttal. no amount of cats knocking the tree over, branches drying up and shedding all over the carpet, or forgetting to water it thus killing it will ever cause for a unanimous vote among us for switching from a real to a fake. no way. never. there is the santa hat my father acquired one year sometime ago in which he placed on his head on christmas eve and walked around the house saying “ho, ho, ho” pretending he was the real deal – and now this particular hat comes out each christmas eve, and only christmas eve, because that is truly the only night the “real santa” comes around. perhaps the longest running unspoken tradition within our clan of (newly updated) eight people, is the movie appropriately titled “santa clause” – the tim allen classic that still causes belly laughs to erupt from our living room. (*note, usually this unspoken tradition of watching the movie “santa clause” occurs at the very same time as the unspoken tradition of drinking peppermint milkshakes. they just fit together quite nicely.)

and maybe the least-favored unspoken tradition of all is the infamous “christmas cookie decorating.” i have never been fond of this. ever. the ingredients are usually mixed together, rolled out, and cut out in shapes by my mother and sister. the decorating most likely consists of an eclectic array of something done by each one of us. even if someone only contributes one decorated cookie. my father has always been the most thrilled by this tradition. the rest of the family is thrilled to eat them, but only my father truly enjoys the process. this year, however, something within me changed. the baking still did not interest me, but when it came time to decorate, my father and i had probably one of the most fun times i’ve had in awhile. beginning with the classic green sprinkled trees and bright yellow stars, my mind took a step off the beaten path and decided the idea of tye-dye was more interesting. what my grandma aptly named “psychedelic cookies,” my father and i just thought they were fun. going a little bit further with my wild ideas, i even created white santas that taste like coconut and stars that have any sort of red in their decor now taste of peppermint (thank you, mother, for supplying the flavor extract i found tucked away in the cupboard when looking for red hots). from lavender swirl colored bells, to creamsicle swirl colored stars, and even a festive red, white, and green tye dye splashed among many, these cookies will be one to remember. and boy, did we have fun creating them.

i can hear the constant crackling of the fire in the stone fireplace, the christmas tree lights giving off the only other glow in the room. “dance of the sugar plum fairy” hums sweetly from my computer, and when i lean back into the warmth of the cushions behind me with eyes closed, i imagine the snow falling softly from the sky outside.

it is almost 2:30 in the morning, i can’t remember the last time i stayed up this late. there have been the occasional late nights with melissa due to her flipped schedule (her night shifts cause her to be awake in the night times and asleep in the day), but rarely do they go beyond 1am before i am curled up in a ball some where, eyes burning from exhaustion. i used to take the opportunity to stay awake late as often as i could. it was my favorite to be alone in the still of the night. now, i prefer to go to bed early – mornings are most precious to me. i love the early light from the rising sun, and the thought of black coffee and the world waking up excites me. as i have grown older, i have noticed so much change within me. i have been taking note of the things that define me, traits that are exact opposite of my teenage years or perahps were just nonexistent before now. it is a funny thing…growing up, that is. as a child, you are unaware of the concept of growth beyond taking the training wheels off of your bike. when you’re in high school half of you desires to grow up, the other half wishes all time would be frozen. beyond that, it seems as though people will try most anything to remain “young.” but i enjoy everything that surrounds the concept of growth. i love the beauty of changing opinions and reasoning. i love the possibilities that come with experience gained. i love the maturity and confidence in who i am. i love that i fall in love more each day. i even love that my treasured night times have turned to beloved mornings, making these late nights awake a rare and special thing.

christmas is around the corner, and i like to think that i am still awake due to the excitement that is abounding, even though i have grown well beyond the days of santa. in less than 24 hours, my sister and brother-in-law will be walking through the front doors, along with my two nephews jumping inside of her belly. the snow continues to fall and the joy of the holiday has begun to radiate off of every soul you meet. i usually claim thanksgiving as my favorite day of the year, but i can’t help but squeal over the love that comes with the day we celebrate the birth of jesus.

the crackle of the fire has quieted to a bright light of ash, and my body longs more for the resting on the cushions behind me than the harsh glare from my computer screen. sitting here now, my spirit of christmas begins fighting for the title of “favorite holiday,”and as the nutcracker soundtrack hums on, i might just give in and claim this time as the best time of the year…

in the last year there has been a major baby boom at my home church in michigan. being home for the holidays, i’ve had the time of my life meeting all the new little faces and kissing chubby cheek after chubby cheek. my mom has become the daytime nanny for one in particular, joshua stanley (brent and kathryn madisons beautiful little bug!), who i’ve been able to giggle with and photograph as he rolls around on my parents living room floor! here he is:

i had the opportunity to take photos of michelle to be used as christmas gifts for her family, and it was probably one of the most fun shoots thanks to her goofy personality and her roommate’s infectious laugh that came along for the ride. its funny to think we took these at the beginning of december, because it looks like the beginning of fall…oh, california!

…this holiday season’s best hot chocolate!

#1 : homemade whipping cream

#2 : a taste of gingerbread

enjoy